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AS PART OF TheJournal.ie’s weekly Family Magazine, we wanted to create a space for parents to share their views. A place where mums and dads could share their experiences, lessons learned, and even mistakes along the way.
We’ve all done silly things when tired. When you’re pregnant, your body is working hard to keep yourself and the baby healthy, right? So everyday skills – like putting the ice cube tray in the freezer and not in the cupboard – can go out the window. That’s where the term ‘baby brain’ comes from… but ask any sleep deprived parent and they’ll tell you it extends far beyond pregnancy.
This week we’re asking our panel…
What’s been your biggest ‘baby brain’ moment?
Here’s what they had to say…
I forgot to put the brake on the buggy… on an open road: When my second child was a few weeks old, I got cabin fever and brought him and my 1.5 year old daughter out for a stroll. My daughter tripped during our walk, and as I tended to her the pram (and brand new baby) rolled onto the road. Thankfully it was a quiet road… with just one slow moving car and a bemused driver approaching us! It was a lesson well learned – the brake was constantly in use after that.
- Denise
My partner remembered everything except the breast milk: My partner called to a friend with our son when he was a couple of months old. She took the changing bag, nappies, wipes, change of clothes etc. She forgot to take a bottle of expressed milk (he was breastfed and I was the one doing the breastfeeding). So I got a phone call about an hour later asking me to come and provide his milk!
- Olly Keegan
I was convinced I’d left the keys at home: I can remember some really awful baby brain moments over the years. Sleep deprivation can make you look like a total nutter. I was getting the tyres changed on my car and looking for my keys to give to the mechanic. I couldn’t find them anywhere (they were in my hand), and got so flustered that I said to the mechanic, ‘I think I’ve left my keys at home.’ This made him laugh because obviously I had driven the car to the garage. He thought this was super funny and offered me a cup of coffee to wake me up a bit.
- Susannah O’Brien
I was so tired I reversed into a pole: My last ‘baby brain’ moment was only about a month ago. I was reversing into a parking spot and was wrecked after being up a lot of the night with Ellie Mae. I reversed into a pole… it cost me €300 to fix it.
- Denise Cumiskey
He took a dirty nappy to work with him: We have a family story of my wife’s uncle who was dealing with his daughter before heading off to work, changing her nappy, feeding her etc. The last thing he did before he left was grab the plastic bag with his lunch in it… or so he thought! At work later on, he realised he’d mixed up the bag and had actually brought his baby daughter’s used nappy to work.
- Ross Boxshall
I started crying after forgetting my wallet: When Clíodhna was about six weeks old, we ventured to our local town (about ten minutes’ drive away) to do a grocery shop. I packed everything for the journey: spare clothes, soothers (even though she didn’t like them), a teddy bear etc. I had just put Clíodhna in her buggy at the supermarket when I realized that I hadn’t packed my wallet. I had to put her, buggy, bag, teddy etc back into the car. She fell asleep on the drive home so after all that I ended up leaving the shopping for the next day. I was so tired I think I cried on the drive home!
- Ríona Flood
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I am SHOCKED !!
SHOCKED I tell you
“My hand glides down her ass to the blue string, and I tug out the tampon, which I toss in the toilet. She gasps, shocked, ”
And well she might be..
He threw a tampon in the toilet!!!
Will nobody think of the beaches?
That’s how those fatbergs start. Horrific stuff
Nothing worse than walking up with a tampon string between your teeth.
My fanfiction-
“I thrust into her again and again, watching my cock disappear and reappear from her mouth. “Now you see it, now you don’t!” I declare, thinking of my childhood dream to be a magician. My cock is still purple and glittery from when I stuck it into the glitter glue earlier, and I’m just grateful we aren’t having another incident like the one a few years back, when I had to visit A&E with a woman stuck to my penis. My glitter glue fetish has caused some scenes, let me tell you.
“FJBGJBVKSJBKF,” says Ana.
“WJNDJFBKJFB,” I say back, and then I realize we aren’t role-playing as Teletubbies, she just can’t speak because she has my cock in her mouth. In between thrusts, she says, “Christian… your… cock… is… the… second… greatest… thing… I’ve.. ever… had… in… my… mouth.”
“BOOM!” I say as I ejaculate. Then I realize what she’s said. “Second greatest? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, I like food too,” says Ana, and I frown, all jealous.
“Why is food better than my penis?” I demand. Just in case she thinks I’m insecure or something, I hold my dick up beside my face, all 35 inches of it, and shake it like a dog, and the shakes run through it like waves. “Feast your eyes on this!”
“Well, it keeps you alive,” says Ana.
“I think you’re getting dicks and hearts confused,” I say. “Last time I checked, my dick doesn’t pump blood around my body, thus keeping me ALIVE.” She’s such a bimbo, but that’s okay because bimbos make me feel intelligent.
“No, food keeps you alive,” says Ana.
“Oh,” I say, dropping my penis. It hits the ground with a thud and glitter lands all over us both, making it snow dick-glitter. “Let’s take things to a new level of sadism,” I say.
“What are we going to do?” she asks, and she looks at my collection of whips and chains and other such objects.
“We’re going to a concert,” I say. “Jedward. If you are anything like me, it will cause your ears to burn but you will be overcome with lust.”
Ana looks scared. “Is that too much?” she asks.
“Maybe,” I say, scratching my arse. “But sure, it’ll be deadly.” “
Pissin myself laughing! That’ll take some beating (pun intended)!
Mrs Shalakalananaka, that was superb. I can’t wait for the movie.
“High-speed fibre-optic connections” wtf?
I read the first paragraph as far as “teeth ” at which point I realised this dude has no clue.
I actually wasn’t even aware that it was this graphic. It’s literally porn. Madness.
It’s literally shite is what it is! Ms James hasn’t learned to write in the intervening period between publications.
would they not just have a nice cup of tea instead ??
Who is the intern that got that high priority job.
Nicky Ryan is the winner.
No anal and condom use?.I think me and the missus will stick with the ol hardcore pornography but thanks all the same.
Chair tight in at the desk while reading Mr. Hosford, like a pro.
Semi anyone !!
Some Murray Kinsella analysis would be good.lol
This really is taking the whole copy and paste thing to the next level.
Thanks guys, that just saved me reading the whole book, its like a trailor for a movie, when they show the best bits on the trailor and the rest of the movie was crap.
Nice article though..wink wink
sounds like she took his best & laughed.
Clit lit !
How many kids have the journal on their phones.
Totally unsuitable porn.
As opposed to that child-suitable porn they should be proving?
What a load of cock!
Your standard role play stuff right there…
There’s a plan B? Bloody hell….
So, that’s what women want. Who knew?
In Ireland, we pay our politicians and bankers to abuse us. We pay them extremely well, they enjoy abusing immensely well, we hate being abused, but we still pay.
I think that the Irish are a special variation of masochist. We enjoy the humiliation. We love paying for humiliation but we hate the abuse itself.
We are a sadist’s dream.
Shut up, you gonk.
wtf is a “gonk”
Did you just create a new word?
@ Glenard
Shut it you chasrinacontif.
Chuckling, the truth hurts! Enjoy it.
50 Shades of Grey is actually an allegorical tale about Irish politics over the last few years. It’s quite clever actually, it’s a really underappreciated novel.
Orla Ryan says her favourite piece of filth from the book is where the chick with the hairy gee gets licked out and you start thinking about politicians. You might as well be dead, Anthony. ;)
Sorry, wasn’t paying attention, too busy shagging the missus. What’s this about?
Sounds like Fanny Hill written 200 years ago. Cut and Paste job.
“Down with this sort of thing,”
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